Well, you know what they say, some things never change. Anxious, dissatisfied, relationship not going well? So what else is new?
I’ve recently come across the following, from Epictetus:
“There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power.” (…)
“Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs.” (…)
“Remember, then, that if you attribute freedom to things by nature dependent, and take what belongs to others for your own, you will be hindered, you will lament, you will be disturbed, you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you take for your own only that which is your own, and view what belongs to others just as it really is, then no one will ever compel you, no one will restrict you, you will find fault with no one, you will accuse no one, you will do nothing against your will; no one will hurt you, you will not have an enemy, nor will you suffer any harm.” (…)
– from Enchiridion I
And also, this:
“When I see anyone anxious, I say, what does this man want? Unless he wanted something or other not in his power, how could he still be anxious? A musician, for instance, feels no anxiety while he is singing by himself; but when he appears upon a stage he does, even if his voice be ever so good, or he plays ever so well. For what he wishes is not only to sing well, but likewise to gain applause. But this is not in his own power.”
– from Discourses, On Anxiety.
Source: W. Ferraiolo, Stoic Counsel for Interpersonal Relations